Definitions of sexual misconduct and harassment in Guideline M.5.
“Sexual misconduct includes sexual advances or stalking, sexual requests, sexual harassment, and other unwelcome behaviors and communications of a sexual nature. We define sexual harassment in RC as conduct of a sexual nature—verbal, written, physical, visual, or electronic—that is serious, or unwelcome and repeated.” From Guideline M.5., Part B.
Sexual misconduct includes sexual advances or stalking, sexual requests, sexual harassment, and other unwelcome behaviors and communications of a sexual nature. Examples of sexual advances—kissing you unexpectedly or on the lips; pulling you onto a bed; touching your breast, butt, or penis. Examples of sexual request—can we have sex, would you touch my penis.
Stalking—engaging in a course of conduct directed at a person that serves no legitimate purpose and seriously alarms, annoys, or intimidates that person (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)—repeated calls, texts, showing up when the person has indicated you are unwelcome. Not to be confused with refusing to leave someone alone when they are facing heavy material!
Read the footnotes in this Guideline!
Footnote 163: “Sexual misconduct could include working on sexual distresses without the Co-Counselor’s agreement or a client repeatedly bringing up sexual material, inside or outside of a session, without considering how oppression and domination have affected both the client’s and the counselor’s distress recordings connected to sex. (This concern especially applies to adults with young people.) People are encouraged to use their reference people to help resolve any confusions or issues.” Examples—a man works on his sexual distresses with a woman without ever having discussed whether that would be OK (or teacher with new Co-Counselor, or older person with young person)
It is not sexual misconduct or harassment to explicitly talk about sex at RC events that address sex, or to talk about this Guideline and how it can be applied. In RC, we intend to create a good place for RCers to work on sex. People choose to attend events where we work on sex, even if they feel uncomfortable. Footnote 164: “In RC we have workshops, classes, and sessions on the topic of sex in which sex may be explicitly talked about. Co-Counselors voluntarily participate in these events, and in these activities we create the conditions in which participants can discharge on early hurts and the feelings connected with the early hurts in order to have a relaxed, rational
relationship to sex. Participants may experience uncomfortable feelings about sex in these events, but that is not the same as sexual harassment.” Example—demonstrations with clients explicitly naming parts of the body or describing a sexual experience or sexual fantasy at a workshop on sex are not sexual misconduct or harassment.
Sexual harassment is a subset of sexual misconduct. “Conduct of a sexual nature— verbal, written, physical, visual, or electronic—that is serious, or unwelcome and repeated.” Footnote 165: “Not all conduct of a sexual nature is “serious.” If such conduct is repeated and unwelcome, even if not serious, it could become sexual harassment.”
If it’s not conduct of a sexual nature, it’s not sexual harassment. For example, it could be completely appropriate as a counselor to lie on top of your client in a physical session, with full body contact. This is not conduct of a sexual nature, it is a physical session. Holding someone who is sobbing, or pulling them in close to increase connection, is not conduct of a sexual nature. However, in both of these situations, the conduct could be misinterpreted. We will want to be sure that clients in these situations understand what the counselor doing and why, and have agreed to the session.
If conduct of a sexual nature is not serious, and is not unwelcome and repeated, it is not sexual harassment. Examples: someone could make a joke, say something about their sex life, reach out and stroke someone’s hair. Maybe this is conduct of a sexual nature, but it is not serious, or unwelcome and repeated. If the person indicates it is unwelcome, and the behavior is then repeated, it would probably be considered sexual harassment. If no one indicates that it is unwelcome, and the behavior is repeated, it might be considered sexual harassment...
Footnote 166: “Concerns about sexual misconduct at a workshop should be immediately communicated to the workshop leader. If it is about the workshop leader’s conduct, it should be immediately communicated to a Regional Reference Person. A report should also be made to the Complaint Review Committee (see below) by email.”
Example—When someone at a workshop brings a concern of sexual misconduct to the workshop leader, the leader is expected to address the concern at the workshop. The workshop leader should pass the concern to the RRPs of the people involved after the workshop.