Continue to Discharge About Harvey

I've both led and attended several evenings on remembering and discharging about Harvey. At each one I've realized a new reason why having these events, and continuing to discharge about and remember Harvey, is so important.

Having a chance to discharge thoroughly on someone's death is a rare opportunity. Not only have most of us not been able to clean up other deaths in our lives (we get to work on some of these as we discharge about Harvey), we have not had a chance to keep doing this in a group, which can provide contradictions to the isolation and despair that can quickly set in after losing a loved one and can blur his or her memory.

At each event, I've heard and shared yet another memory of what Harvey stood for, said, or held out for us. With each new sharing my sense of this project and what we're about is deepened. Remembering everything we can about Harvey can shore up our efforts to finish the work he started. His teachings, vision, insights, and courage stay alive and active in our lives. In this way, we get to take him with us into the next period, and the foundation he set for us remains strong and intact.

It's been important to remind people of everyone's right to remember and discharge about Harvey, no matter how little personal contact they may have had with him. All of us have had a relationship with him of immense meaning, just by being part of this organization. There is no need to compare our relationship with him to anyone else's. It is ours, and that's good enough.

It's also been helpful for people who are new to RC to hear more experienced Co-Counselors talk about Harvey. It's another way to teach what RC is all about, as well as share who he was.

Approaching Harvey's death from a variety of angles has been useful for bringing out the full spectrum of relationships we had with him. We have shared: how his death has affected us, when we realized who he really was, favorite pieces of theory or things he said, what we looked to him for, what he stood for, our commitment to him for what we will take on next, and what we always wanted to say to him. We have sung songs he sang or recited poetry he recited, and have said goodbye to resentments or disappointments pinned on him.

I have used at least part of every meeting I've led in my Region, whatever the original topic, to keep us discharging about Harvey. It's been very good for our relationships and our work.

Dvora Slavin
Seattle, Washington, USA

Last modified: 2014-11-06 00:12:52+00