Relatives of “Mental Health” System Survivors
More than a hundred and fifteen people attended the March 2022 African Heritage People and “Mental Health” Liberation Workshop [see the articles “African-Heritage People and ‘Mental Health’ Liberation,” by Carmen Johnston, and “A Large, Active African Delegation,” by Jackie Kane, on page 19 of Present Time 208]. We were from twenty countries—in Africa, the Caribbean, Europe, and North America—covering eight time zones. The workshop was led by Jenny Martin [International Liberation Reference Person for “Mental Health” Liberation] and Barbara Love [International Liberation Reference Person for African Heritage People].
I did a brief presentation on relatives of “mental health” system survivors. Below are my notes:
- Parents are expected to keep their children behaving “normally.” Otherwise the family is blamed and isolated for not being “normal.”
- Children are often targeted when their parent is not fulfilling their societal role and gets involved in the “mental health” system (MHS).
- Families are expected to take care of any family member who gets “out of control,” rather than society offering resources in challenging situations.
- “Help” from the MHS usually makes matters worse. This can leave family members feeling like there is no help.
- Relatives of a “mental health” system survivor often end up in the oppressor role in relation to their family member.
- Relatives often don’t trust their perceptions.
- There is a myth that “mental illness” is passed on genetically. Relatives often fear going “crazy” and ending up in the MHS.
Relatives of “mental health” system survivors can also experience the following:
- Fear of discharge, because discharging is what led their relative to be caught in the MHS
- Keeping a tight lid on their thoughts and feelings
- Having to look fine all the time
- Using humor to “hide”
- Not talking about what is happening
- Staying “in their heads” because it feels safer than having feelings
- Rigid self-sufficiency and over-responsibility
- Feelings of despair, numbness, and depression
- Self-blame, especially when feeling bad
- Thriving best in crisis situations
- Feeling like a traitor for surviving
- Feeling like their home is an extension of the MHS
- Having a frozen need to be taken care of
- Keeping secrets
At the workshop, we could notice that we’re not alone and that others might be able to think about us because of our common experiences. We also had fun together and celebrated our thriving.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of “mental health” liberation
(Present Time 208, July 2022)