A talk by Erin Huang-Schaffer at the Europe and Israel Young Adults’
Workshop in Putten, the Netherlands, February 2026


As we work toward connection, it helps to look at the ways we’ve gotten divided from each other. In RC we have the opportunity to work on the different ways that humans have been hurt. One of the ways that we have all been hurt as humans is by oppression. We have the tools of discharge; this means we can get rid of these hurts.


We have all experienced mistreatment, starting from when we were young. None of us have gotten to fully heal from it. When we were mistreated, we sometimes blamed ourselves and we sometimes blamed others. Both have become the patterns that we have now. We all have patterns that target ourselves, and we all have patterns that target others.


It’s hard to look at our patterns of targeting others. As young people, when we acted out our hurts, we were often told that we were “bad.” None of us escaped that painful message. Looking at our oppressor distresses brings up those recordings that tell us we’re bad. It can feel unbearable to look at these distresses. That’s why our fundamental RC theory that we’re all born good is a powerful contradiction.


WE HAVE ALL BEEN HURT


We need to remind each other that we are all inherently good, no matter how badly we have been hurt. And we all have oppressor distresses; we all have patterns of mistreating others. We all come from histories where survival for our people was hard. We have all been left with distresses that make us feel like we would do anything if it seemed like it would help us survive. We’ve been given the message that targeting other groups of humans would help us survive. That is a big lie.


We have to look at the ways that we have been hurt and left with these patterns. Seeing yourself or anyone as bad for having these patterns is not going to be useful to anyone. We all have oppressor distresses. There is no such thing as someone being the “worst” oppressor, because there is no such thing as a “good” oppressor. There are only good humans who have been badly hurt. People only hurt others when they have been hurt themselves—and we have all been hurt.


We all have unhealed distresses that have led us to mistreat others. This is what we need to look at if we want to be connected to every human being. We will have to discharge the distresses that divide us and keep us separate from each other. We need to work on our early memories of mistreatment so that we’re less likely to act out those hurts in the present.


Have a mini-session on your earliest memory of being mistreated. How did it feel to have this happen to you as a young person, who was born completely good in every way?


AN OPPORTUNITY
TO NOTICE RACISM


It’s been useful to point out at the workshops I lead that you are being led by a Global Majority woman. We all have oppressor distresses that we didn’t ask for. White people all have patterns of racism that they didn’t ask for. If you’re a white person being led by a Global Majority person, any patterns of racism that you have are going to show.


If you’re worried about your patterns of racism showing here, they will (or already have). Sorry! The good news is that this gets to be an opportunity to discharge and get rid of those patterns.


If you don’t usually get the chance to notice racism, I’m glad that you have the opportunity to notice it here. You get to work on your patterns of racism with other white people. I’m sorry that as white people you have been left with these distresses. It would be great for you to get to look at the feelings that come up while being around and led by Global Majority people.


Remember that those feelings are not about me or other Global Majority people. They have to do with how you got hurt when you were young—the ways that you were mistreated or isolated or made to feel scared for your survival. I’ve noticed that the ways we got mistreated end up looking very similar to how we oppress other people.


WE MATTER TO EACH OTHER


For the Global Majority people here, I want you to know that you matter to me and the people at this workshop. You are just right as you are. There is nothing wrong with you, no matter how badly you or your families or ancestors have been hurt by racism. This workshop is just as much for you as it is for anyone.


You get to decide to be connected with everyone here, with you right in the center. Seeing each other exist together in this space is a huge contradiction to racism. I’m saying this as a reminder to the Global Majority people, but actually as a reminder to everyone. We all get to remember how good it is that we exist, and we get to be connected with each other.


I will now meet with the Global Majority people, and the white people will meet in groups to work on racism.


In the white people’s groups, notice how it feels to be with and led by Global Majority people. What mistakes are you worried about making? What do you need to discharge to decide to stay connected with Global Majority people, even if you make a mistake?