A few months ago, a person in my RC class had a baby. I set up a project for my class of twelve people to support this family and to learn about listening to very small babies.


It is a powerful and wonderful experience to be near and listen to a baby who has just entered this world. What could be better than connecting with a newborn and supporting the parents? It is also a good way to learn about family work—how allies can support parents, how to listen to a small child tell us about their experience, and how a newborn uses attention to discharge and heal from their hurts and connect deeply with the people around them.


THE LISTENING PROJECT


The first time I went to the mom’s house, I went by myself. She was sitting with her two-week-old baby when I came in. I sat next to them and together we listened to her son cry. After crying for about twenty-five minutes, he stopped crying, looked at us, and yawned for a bit. Then the mom gave him to her husband, and I gave the mom discharge time for half an hour.


The mom told me that she had been worried about her baby crying—that perhaps something was wrong that needed to be fixed. It was reassuring for her to see that the crying didn’t go on forever and that the baby was okay. We talked about how it was good that we made sure the baby wasn’t hungry or bothered by a dirty diaper. Then we listened to the baby tell us about [show by discharging] his experience, as he was healing from a hurt.


The next time I brought two people from my class with me. Again we sat with the mom while the baby looked at us and cried. And again, after about a half hour we gave her son to the dad and the three of us gave the mom time for around thirty minutes. Then the mom left and I did a mini-session with the allies who came with me. We talked about the baby’s discharge session and I answered some of their questions. Afterward I hung out [spent relaxed, unstructured time] a bit and connected with the dad (who is not in RC).


The third time I went with another person from my class and did the same things, but at one point I asked if I could hold the baby while we were listening. I felt that at that point the baby was a little familiar with me. I held him, and he looked at each of us as he cried.


A HELPFUL EXPERIENCE


I will continue to do this with different people in my class so they have the experience of listening to young babies. A few of the allies told me that they had never listened to a baby—in or out of Co-Counseling—and that it was a new and lovely experience for them.


This project is part of a bigger project of teaching my class about family work. Soon we will do grown-up special time in my class. Some people in my class grew up with RC, and I think this gave them a helpful perspective on the process.


Since the COVID-19 pandemic, we paused in-person family work. Many people in RC who recently had children haven’t had the opportunity to be allies to young people. Even when we were meeting in person, a lot of people who have children never got the experience of listening to very young babies. I think it would be helpful to encourage pre-parents to do that.


Becoming a parent isn’t something you can completely prepare for. It is like no other experience. Of course, it is a great experience.