“The Real . . . “
It also appears that even more general commitments can be useful. I have been using a particular one with many [RC] leaders and teachers in various parts of the world. This commitment is certainly not a replacement for other forms of counseling or even other commitments. But, because of its general nature, it has proven useful and effective in a number of situations.
So far, I have only tried it with people who are familiar enough with [RC] theory to be easily aware of the difference between the pattern and the person and to assume “the real Joe Josephson” as meaning “the human Joe Josephson” as distinct from any patterns.
The effective use of it seems to require a counselor modeling a bold and effective delivery of the commitment at first. But, once working, it has at least limited value even in situations where the client is alone.
In using this commitment, the counselor asks the client to promise to be “From this moment on, the real Bill Williamson.” This part should be said in as confident, enthusiastic, and approving a tone as possible, and the counselor, of course, must model this tone for the client to attempt to copy.
I have found it useful to follow this part with four or five “Hah!”s, like “Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah!” It is important that the counselor, while modeling, make these sounds convey a sense of triumph and satisfaction and confidence and power, so that the client knows he or she is expected to sound the same way. Generally, if discharge had not previously started, this part brings discharge, especially if the counselor immediately re-models the correct tone when the client has settled for anything less. There’s often a pull on the client, observably, to make the “Hah!” sounds derisively, as if she or he was “putting someone else down”; or defensively; or apologetically; or [as if she or he were] making fun of herself or himself. The counselor must not settle for this but must model the sound again immediately in a robust, proud, pleased, confident, powerful manner.
This is immediately followed by the counselor asking the client to say, “This means that ______” and insisting that the client think and speak of a consequence of acting as her or his real self in keeping with the commitment. Once the client has thought of such a consequence, then the counselor immediately asks the client to again repeat the whole commitment, “From this moment on, the real Mary Marysdatter! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! This means that _____” and so continuing for many repetitions. The longer it is pursued, the deeper the commitment seems to “bite.”
The open-endedness of “This means that _____,” and the fact that each client knows at some level what his or her real self is uniquely like, keeps the commitment from going stale or becoming boring. It seems to help people move out of the usual preoccupation with distress in a very good way and with lots of discharge.
The few words used are very much the same for everyone except for the different name and the different implications each person comes up with [thinks of] while using it. It is simple and profound and moves the client powerfully away from distress. It will challenge each counselor as well to step outside his or her own chronic patterns of vocal expression to model the enthusiasm, power, confidence, and satisfaction which the client needs to attempt to emulate.
Try it.
Reprinted from pages 237 to 239 of “‘The Real Fleetybelle Screwdriverson,’ A Generalized Commitment,” in The Rest of Our Lives
(Present Time 211, April 2023)