A Snapshot of Harvey
In 1979 I took my first trip back to China. I went with my mother who was returning for the first time after forty years away.
At one point we were invited to speak about our work in the United States. My mother talked about her work as a clinical psychologist. I talked some about my work as a counselor and school psychologist. However, I mostly talked about RC. I had been naturalizing RC theory and practice into my life and work since 1973 when I’d taken my first fundamentals class. I shared what I knew about RC theory and practice: how simple it was to understand, how egalitarian, how useful, and how helpful it could be.
By the time of our trip, I already felt deep affection and gratitude for Harvey Jackins. I thought he would be happy to know that I had given a lecture about his theory to people in China, so I wrote him about my experiences. He was happy indeed. His first trip to China was being planned—and, lucky me, I got to go with him. He and Tim Jackins and I (and at various times other Chinese colleagues) traveled to Beijing, Shanghai, and Kunming to give introductory lectures about RC theory and practice.
Harvey did an introductory lecture one evening at the YMCA [Young Men’s Christian Association] in Shanghai, for an audience of English-language learners. His lecture included some demonstrations. There was one demonstration that I’ll never forget.
A young man, “Li” (pseudonym), volunteered to come up and share a problem he needed help with. He was despondent and brokenhearted because he had just been rejected by his girlfriend. He felt alone and bereft and didn’t know what to do. There are many ways to help someone discharge. In this instance, Harvey decided to try to help in a light, unserious way. He played being the girlfriend and asked “Li” to talk to him. To get into the part, Harvey pulled out his handkerchief and daintily put it over his head, pretending it was hair. He smiled prettily, and coyly batted his eyes at “Li.”
The whole room burst into laughter, including “Li”! “Li” followed Harvey’s direction and tried to appeal to Harvey in the role of his ex-girlfriend. Harvey good-naturedly rebuffed him, flirting with him all along. Much laughter ensued. “Li” laughed a lot, and the demonstration ended on a light, hopeful note.
At the end of the evening, Harvey asked people to share what they had learned from the program. At one point, “Li” spoke up. His remarks were unforgettable. He said to Harvey, “You saved my life. I was going to kill myself tonight. But after my demonstration with you, I’ve changed my mind.”
USA
(Present Time 209, October 2022)