War and Men
I was born and raised in the United States. I am a Jew. My ancestors are all from Eastern Europe. I have found the following thoughts to be helpful in my work on healing from war.
War—organizing and using resources to kill human beings—is society’s most irrational activity. We must eliminate it if we are to survive as a species.
Most wars have been initiated by male leaders. And, until recently, wars have been fought almost exclusively by men. But waging war is not an innate characteristic of males. War is a result of men’s oppression.
The institutions of society are the agents of men’s oppression, and a primary agent is the military. Young males are oppressed so they will go to war. (Other institutions contributing to men’s oppression include the criminal justice system, the sex industry, and the sports industry.)
The oppression of males starts early in boys’ lives.
Male infants are treated differently than female infants. Although baby boys are born with the same ability to discharge as baby girls, adults interfere with boys’ discharge. They tell them things like, “Big boys don’t cry,” “Don’t be a sissy,“ “Be tough.”
(Women do not oppress men. However, as adults, because of their own oppression, women sometimes collude with the oppression of young males.)
Boys are encouraged to play at war with toy soldiers.
Many male infants and young men endure male genital mutilation (MGM), euphemistically called “circumcision.” (Using the word “circumcision” helps people stay numb about this hurtful practice.)
The effects of MGM are often underestimated or ignored because religious beliefs are sensitive and controversial. People who take a public stand against MGM are often criticized as being anti-Semitic (and sometimes are).
The hurts from MGM may create distress recordings of powerlessness, insignificance, feeling alone, needing to dominate or be the center of attention, or needing to feel better about oneself. These can be manipulated to get men to agree to fight in wars. They also contribute to men’s sexism. And they deeply affect relationships between men and women and between fathers and their children.
I think that ending MGM could be an important step toward achieving peace between Jews and Arabs in Israel/Palestine. Ending it there will be challenging, however, since observant Jews and Muslims regard male circumcision as an important or even essential ritual.
It’s useful to have Co-Counseling sessions on how we, our family, and our ancestors have been affected by war. An important contradiction to the hurts of war is being listened to about the details. (If a counselor offers a direction, it may seem to the client that they’d rather listen to discharge than to the details.)
Stay hopeful. Humanity can end war!
Santa Barbara, California, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders in the transformation of society
(Present Time 208, July 2022)