I Am Now More Able to Feel Vulnerable
The Jews and “Mental Health” Liberation Workshop [see previous two articles] changed things for me. Every class was packed full of insights on how anti-Jewish oppression and “mental health” oppression reinforce and intensify each other.
I am white, male, and a child of middle-/owning-class German Jewish refugees. I grew up with heavy layers of assimilation, pretense, and denial. I was made to feel different and special and was defensively proud of it. I was confused about what was good for me because I had been offered false validation, adoration, and what I call “compulsory optimism” instead of being listened to about how ashamed, lonely, self-hating, terrified, and bleak I felt.
At the workshop we discharged about connection, taking things slowly, and not having to look good or be cool, calm, and collected. I discharged on what Cherie Brown [International Liberation Reference Person for Jews and one of the leaders of the workshop] called “the limited options around feeling safe.” I could work full-out on anger. For the first time in my forty years in RC, I remembered and worked on fantasies about my family or other people being killed.
I am now more able to feel vulnerable, dependent, and not in control. I am noticing my counselor is there and am giving them a chance to think about me and try things out.
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of Jews
(Present Time 208, July 2022)