A Challenge and a Contradiction
Like Daniel [see the article “Acting, Connecting, Feeling Powerful,” by Daniel Kieval, on page 48 of Present Time No. 207], I recently participated in two and a half days of civil disobedience with People versus Fossil Fuels.
Participating in this action was a huge contradiction to all the places where I have been trained—as a female, a white Ashkenazi mixed-heritage Jew, a settler on this land, and someone raised and currently middle class—to stay small and to cooperate with the status quo and existing power structures and authority. Since participating, on several occasions I have refused to stay silent, interrupted harmful things happening around me, and tried new things that demanded courage.
Participating in this action was challenging. It brought up early feelings of defeat, insignificance, being left on my own [alone], and confusion about humanity. It forced me to confront racism, genocide, assimilation, and erasure. I have had to discharge on standing together with others and where I still struggle to do this. I am repeatedly choosing to look at the truth rather than accept the lies that I grew up with.
Participating in this action also pushed me to use what I have learned in RC about being an ally:
- Showing up
- Remembering my goodness and significance
- Standing in solidarity
- Fighting for my own unique mind
- Keeping my heart open
- Allowing myself to feel
New York, New York, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders in care of the environment
(Present Time 207, April 2022)