One of the Most Important Things We Can Think About
I’ve realized that I cannot not dismiss or exclude anyone, no matter what identities they carry, even if they wear their oppressor material [distress] more visibly than I do. When I can reach for them and stay close to them—not agreeing with their oppressor material, but not attacking them either—they are more likely to take my thinking seriously, even if they don’t agree.
I’ve had a small success in the past year: My neighbor sometimes teases me (in a good-natured way) about my political views, which are very different from his. He knows that I spend time working with groups that advocate certain policies, and he sometimes asks me questions about some of the policies. These conversations usually end with him shaking his head and making a comment about how or why he disagrees with the policies.
Several months ago, he mentioned that he and his buddies had been spending time together debating the merits of one of the policies I often mention. They hadn’t been talking about how wrong the policy was, they’d been debating which was the strongest argument for the policy! I was stunned, and it reminded me (again!) that staying close is more effective than believing I’m on a different “side” than someone else.
Thanks for putting the question out there. I think this is one of the most important things we can think about in the next period.
Greensboro, North Carolina, USA
Reprinted from the e-mail discussion list for RC Community members
(Present Time 207, April 2022)