Accountability in RC
Over the years, people in my RC Community have periodically asked questions about how we hold people in RC accountable for mistakes in judgment or behavior. They sometimes worry that our emphasis in RC on avoiding criticism and blame translates into a lack of accountability. Or they struggle to think about how to be strong allies to people who are impacted by mistakes (especially when social oppressions are involved) and, at the same time, be supportive of those who have made mistakes.
I think we actually have a rigorous process of accountability in RC. It doesn’t always work perfectly in practice. But it does work well a lot of the time. Knowing how it is supposed to operate can help all of us collaborate to make it work better and better.
In a recent ongoing RC class, I talked about how we think about accountability in RC. Here are the key ideas I shared:
- We expect everyone participating in RC to behave thoughtfully; to engage in continual processes of reflection, learning, and growth; and to take responsibility for the impact of their actions. At the same time, we know that all humans have been hurt and carry distress patterns. Regardless of good intentions, people regularly make mistakes or behave “badly” due to lack of information, lack of awareness about the impact of their behavior, being tired or distracted, or patterns of behavior resulting from the ways they themselves were hurt. They are also likely to make mistakes as they try new things and learn how to do them well.
- Our process for accountability within RC is based in our perspectives that any form of humans harming other humans is wrong; that people can always grow and change; that criticism, blame, punishment, and social ostracization inhibit that change process; and that no one involved should be left to deal with a challenging or distressing situation alone.
- Our approach to accountability in RC is similar to something in the wide world called “transformative accountability.” Transformative accountability seeks to offer a community-based, interpersonal alternative to the models of punitive accountability (punishment) and “call-out culture” that tend to dominate in most of our societies today. In many cases, the approaches of both transformative accountability and our practices in RC strengthen and deepen the relationships among people, rather than sever them.
- When someone has made a mistake in RC—including acting oppressively toward others—our goals are correction, repair, and support for healing, growth, and transformation for everyone involved. We expect and support those who have erred to reflect on their behavior without defensiveness, develop a more accurate picture of the situation, acknowledge the impact of their actions, apologize to others, rectify any negative impacts of their behavior to the extent possible, decide to act differently in the future, and engage in their own healing process to resolve the underlying hurts and other experiences that contributed to their behavior.
- We support those impacted by the mistake or distressed behavior to heal from it, along with related experiences in the past; reclaim their sense of wholeness and power; name oppressive behaviors and impacts with ever-greater clarity; hold out their expectation for change; and choose how they want to move forward in the impacted relationships.
- When someone’s patterns of behavior lead to repeated mistakes or mistreatment of others, RC leaders are expected to take action to (a) protect and support those who may be vulnerable and (b) assist the person acting in those ways to apologize, set things right, and create a plan for their own healing and growth. Avoiding blame, criticism, and punishment does not mean allowing hurtful behavior to continue or assuming that someone will simply have sessions and “eventually” figure it out on their own.
- We also have some other practices that contribute to accountability. We expect RC leaders to engage in ongoing processes of learning, including annual “self-estimations.” (In a “self-estimation,” both the leader and those they work most closely with share what the leader has done well, where they still need to grow, and what help is needed and/or offered for them to do that.) In our classes and workshops, we have long invited those who are the target of social oppressions to share their experiences and expectations. And we expect the others to listen respectfully and without defensiveness, to learn, and to act. In the past several years in some RC groups that work together, we have instituted discussions about how racism, young people’s oppression, and other social oppressions are “showing up” in our interactions. People in both the “target” and the “oppressor” groups offer concrete examples—without blame or reproach—that build everyone’s capacity to notice, articulate, and correct mistaken or oppressive behavior. Finally, as we try new things, we share what we are learning with each other through classes, workshops, e-mail listservs, and RC journals, so that everyone in the RC Community can benefit.
- This accountability process doesn’t always work as it should. Sometimes our distress patterns leave us timid, confused, defensive, uncertain about what to do, or slow to speak up and act. Oppression—past and present—may make it hard for us to speak up. Sometimes we become “protective” of leaders we think are being criticized, or we listen to people in oppressed groups about mistakes that have been made and then don’t act to change things. Or we forget to follow our Guidelines and to rigorously use tools like self-estimations. As with everything else, we are continually trying to use our theory and practice as fully as possible—and there is always room to improve. The more we know about how accountability is supposed to work in RC, the more likely we will learn to use these processes well.
After I shared these ideas and examples of times I had been held accountable for mistakes, we had a mini-session. Then I counseled a number of people on what had come up for them.
Many people said my talk had given them a better understanding of our processes for accountability in RC and that they’d found it reassuring. People had sessions about the impact on them of punitive accountability or “call out” culture, about the wide-world challenges of supporting both people in targeted groups and those who have behaved oppressively, and about wanting to bring RC perspectives about accountability into their wide-world work and their feelings about doing that.
Note: Our processes for “Handling Disagreement, Criticism, and Upset” and “Self-Estimation” can be found on pages 70 and 74 respectively in the 2017 Guidelines for the Re-evaluation Counseling Communities.
Lansing, New York, USA
Reprinted from the e-mail discussion list for RC teachers
(Present Time 205, October 2021)