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Chioma Okonkwo

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Creativity #3
Journal
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The Joy of Being a Mother


Thirty-nine years ago, I became a mother. I was thirty-two years old. Until I started Re-evaluation Counseling two years prior, I had never wanted to be a mother. I loved being with young people, but an undischarged commitment to my young self had me wanting to liberate young people from their parents.


Today, as I did thirty-nine years ago and have done every year on this day, my whole self feels the total joy of becoming a mother. I was raised Christian, and suddenly I understood the Nativity scene—kings, shepherds, and animals stood in worship of a newborn. All newborns deserve a community of caring people, full of joy and fun. They all deserve that much honour. Their openness, vulnerability, looking out, and wanting—is extraordinary. I cry as I write this.


I am so glad that I am a mother, to have that degree of connection totally available. I’ve learned so much. It is powerful to receive a look that says both “I expect the best of you” and “You are just right exactly as you are”—two positions that can seem in contradiction but are not.


I love loving so fully. I love playing so fully. I love the permission to be silly. I love living with the deep meaning that caring offers so fully.


I love myself for trying as hard as I knew how and still making huge mistakes. 


I love watching my daughter be a mother and the years collapsing and expanding to encompass everything.


I love the role that an understanding of discharge has played and am proud to have brought that to the current and I hope future generations. It is so exciting to witness unfolding minds and hearts when people, especially young people, understand and use the discharge process.


D—


England

(Present Time 203, April 2021)


Last modified: 2022-12-25 10:17:04+00