The Truth about Men

The truth about men is that we are all good. Despite our many distracting differences, there is only one kind of man: good. As I discharge with men in support groups and classes, as I keep close to my brothers, this elusive truth becomes clear and inescapable.

Each time we men get together, we chip away at the isolation and confusion. I’ve encouraged the men in my men’s support group to think and write about our group. Whilst we are together we say and write brilliant things, but then we are apart and we forget. Writing this is my attempt to remember that we are good and significant to each other.

It has been hard for me to remember the truth—I think because sexism and male domination are still entrenched in our world, and our internalized oppression and competitiveness distract us from our goodness.

It is a struggle to act human all the time when we were raised and still live in a world of male domination. We reliably discharge about this when we are safe in our relationships with each other.

Every opportunity for men to work together is an opportunity to chip away at male domination. RC family work gives us another chance to be a team of men. We figure out how to follow the lead of women and support and bear witness to boys who are becoming men in ways that were not available to us.

Sexism and male domination hurt men and women, boys and girls. They have been around for thousands of years, but they are collapsing. Their collapse is not hastened by disrespecting or otherwise hurting men. Our groups of discharging men are part of the collapse. I salute us.

Stephen Costello

Thornbury, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Reprinted from the newsletter of the Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, RC Community

Last modified: 2019-05-13 15:12:23+00