News flash

SAL/UER Videos

Racism and the Collapsing Society, Barbara Love and Tim Jackins, June 7, 2020

RC Webinars listing through December 2022

New Online Workshop Guidelines Modifications


Still Much More to Do

I attended the Contemporary Women’s Workshop as one of nineteen male allies. It was an amazing workshop and an honor to be there.

I have a three-year-old daughter. My wife does not want to have any more children; I can see that it’s the right decision for her, but I have been sad about it.

At the workshop I realized I would not feel as sad if my only child was a boy. Deep down, I feel like my daughter is not enough, like she is not as valuable or important to me as a son would be. It was hard to admit this to myself, but once I did, it opened up an ocean of distress to discharge.

One of the first messages I got after I was born was that it was great that I was a boy. People were excited about it. I don’t know that anyone ever explicitly said that girls were not as good as boys, but that was the implication.

I have been having great sessions on all the messages that it is better to be male than female. For instance, I have never seen a movie in which the family gushes with joy because their first child is a girl. Rather, it is when it’s a boy that great joy is expressed, particularly on a father’s face.

I think that the strength and unity of the women at the workshop, and the clear message of “female first,” made it possible for me to look at all this. I have been a good father to my daughter, and a good ally to her as a female—yet there is still much more to do.


(Present Time 185, October 2016)

Last modified: 2019-05-02 14:41:35+00