Preserving and Deepening a Friendship
I took my son, A—, and his friend S—, two fourteen-year-old boys, to the movies. While at the movies, they started roughhousing (playing in a rough, boisterous way) with each other. This initially was in fun but then turned into something serious. They got mad at each other and didn’t speak while we walked to our car.
Since they were good friends, I wanted to help them work the situation out and preserve their friendship. I asked S— what had happened. He explained that A— had been teasing him. A— said that S— had been making fun of him.
S— had started the roughhousing by kicking A—. I asked S— why he’d decided to kick A— instead of keeping the roughhousing playful? He started to cry, saying I didn’t know what it was like to have to walk around acting as if everything was okay all the time when it wasn’t. He said his dad was very sick and that he might not see him again after December. I listened to him and counseled him. A— started to cry, too, saying that S— didn’t know what it was like to be teased at school and that he was embarrassed that he had a learning disability.
It was wonderful to see the two boys connect that way. It preserved their friendship and deepened it at the same time.
USA
(Present Time 183, April 2016)