The Abuse Stopped with Me
I am a white Jewish woman, married to a man, raising a four-year-old girl. My father involved my sister, my brother, and me in a children’s pornography cult. For me, the LGBTQ1 Parents’ Workshop was a place to recover from this, from early separation, and from the effects of male domination and sexism. I could also look at where my LGBTQ identity shows up in my parenting.
I love being a mom. My relationship with my daughter is by far the most open-hearted human relationship that I have been a part of. It has opened me up to people in a much bigger way. I really chose it. It is a triumph that I get to be a parent. It is hopeful that the abuse stopped with me and that it was ended in just one generation. I love my up-close-and-personal female and Jewish liberation project.
The foundation of Gay oppression is that there is something wrong with us and that we are bad. Many of us concluded that we were the “wrong kind of girl,” that there was something wrong with us as females. I can’t tell2 that I am okay; I try to appear “normal” at my own expense. I’m pulled toward overwork, upward mobility, and solo functioning. I overreact to rules and authority. It is hard for me to need my husband and to open my heart to him. It is hard to communicate what is truly important to me, and what does get verbalized is usually much less than what I have in my mind.
It was amazing to have the space to fight hard on our own behalf, together.
Anonymous
1 Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer
2 "Tell" means see, notice.