"Contradictions" to the Loss of a Loved One

The most reliable technique I've found for helping a client discharge on the death of a loved one is to ask him or her to tell me about pleasant memories of the deceased person. This seems to provide enough balance of attention that the client can discharge a long, long time with only occasional reminders to tell what else was good. Crying along with my client can also be helpful. I think it contradicts where the person feels completely alone with the loss and out of touch with the rest of the world, which seems to go blithely on. This contradiction has worked best if, instead of crying about another loss that it might remind me of, I really listen to the memories and cry for how I and the world are poorer for the loss of this unique human being. Along the same line, if I actually knew the person who died, I share my good memories and high regard for him or her with the bereaved. If a Community member dies, I think it makes sense for all of us who knew that person to meet, share memories, and grieve together, perhaps inviting non-RC family members of the person to the event.

Rita Wings
Arvada, Colorado, USA
from the Denver Community RC Newsletter

Last modified: 2022-12-25 10:17:04+00