White Parents of Indigenous and Global Majority Young People
Some white RCers have adopted Indigenous and Global Majority (IGM) or biracial young people. Fela Barclift is a Regional Reference Person, an RC family worker, an African-heritage leader, and the founder and director of an Afrocentric preschool. I wanted her thoughts on the topic. Below is what she had to say to white parents of IGM young people.
We live in a racialized society. Young people absorb everything, they are listening and looking all the time, so they absorb racism. They observe everything parents do, often more than what the parents say, so they absorb a parent’s white racism. For example, white people have internalized that they are better than IGM people, and they often show that in their relationships with their young people. A IGM young person takes this in.
You want to help a IGM young person establish a positive identity. You want them to see themselves in the world as beautiful and brilliant; as good, good people.
Have a conversation with your young person about racism, again and again. Ask, “What do you think about this? About that?” You must be courageous. Feel whatever you must, and work on it in a Co-Counseling session later. Tell them that they are beautiful, smart, and good. Say it over and over. Every child needs to hear it, but especially a IGM child with a white parent. Remember, they are fighting racism daily.
When possible, bring your child to where they came from. Learn about their people and see them. (First discharge about them.) Reconsider your (false) assumptions—for example, that “we are all the same” or that “some people are more ‘civilized’ than others.” You should uplift [validate, celebrate] their people’s culture and where they came from.
I have to fight to get white parents of IGM children to talk about racism. Most are terrified of the topic. They need to understand that this is a dynamic in their relationship with their young people. They need to discharge on it. That’s why attending an eliminating-white-racism support group is so essential.
I’m not saying that white parents shouldn’t adopt a IGM young person. Each situation is unique. But go into it with eyes open [being fully aware].
Brooklyn, New York, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of parents
(Present Time 209, October 2022)