Genocide Recordings as a Jew
The following are some genocide recordings that were installed on me as a Jew and a daughter of a Holocaust survivor:
I feel like I don’t deserve to live; like I ruin other people’s lives; like there is something bad, evil, wrong with me; like I should not take up any space or ask for anything from anyone else.
I feel like I must prove that my existence is worthwhile and not detrimental to the world. If I can prove that I’m useful, smart, impressive, good, enough, maybe “they” won’t kill me. This has manifested itself in overwork, self-sacrifice, learning lots of languages, compulsive activism, and big struggles to think about and prioritize my health and well-being.
Before I discharged extensively on these recordings, I expected that I would die young or soon. I had nightmares of being imprisoned, tortured, shot by a firing squad, and being in a concentration camp. And I expected that these things would happen to me in real life.
The following are some counseling directions that have worked for me:
- The world is a better place because I am in it.
- The world is a better place because we (Jews) are in it.
- My existence is a blessing to humanity.
- I was meant to live.
- My ancestors want me to have a good life.
- I can imagine living to an old age.
Berkeley, California, USA
Reprinted from the e-mail discussion list for RC teachers
(Present Time 208, July 2022)