Responding to Attacks, as a Raised-Poor Man
I’m reflecting on how I respond to attacks as a raised-poor man, and I have some insights into patterned behaviors that I can elect to change.
When I was first alerted to some public attacks on RC, I didn’t feel much. My curiosity did not go beyond wanting to know and be assured that Tim Jackins and Diane Shisk were not in physical danger and that any mistakes did not go beyond those made by an individual or a few individuals. Then, after a few weeks, more news of the attacks came to my attention, but again I was only mildly curious and saw no need for my involvement or even my attention.
Then I was asked to get involved in responding to the attacks. I knew I would need to take that request to my Co-Counseling sessions. Deciding to counsel on it did not come from being asked for a response but rather from recalling my long reputation as a fighter and an advocate. I discharged on attacks from a few angles—including being Jewish, being raised Catholic, identifying as male and an elder, and being raised poor.
I had good sessions on the impact of having been raised poor. I remembered my mother feeling humiliated and angry when she was dismissed or overlooked in a store because people could tell [perceive] that we had little money and were looking only at sale-priced goods. I remember, too, the shouting among my family members as they recounted attacks at work, public injustices, and embarrassing situations. The shouting did not end in action but rather confirmed that things were as hopeless as they appeared.
I also recalled the times when an injustice had been done to me, or a sibling, or someone close to us. Once, as a pre-teen, my whole class was kept after school, and I was made late for my job as a newspaper delivery boy. The next day my father took off work [left his job] for an hour and went to the school to yell at the teacher on my behalf. Another time, my sister went to a store and complained after I had been treated poorly by a worker there.
Other sessions uncovered a frequent message: “Don’t let them bother you. You know what you are doing. If someone tells you to jump off a bridge, are you going to follow those orders?”
I recalled messages from my childhood about attacks: “Stick up for [defend] others, even if it requires you to be fierce.” “Defending yourself might be less possible, because you’re in a weaker position due to poverty and social status. So endure it and complain about it to the people you are close to but also stay your own course. You know what you are going to do; do not let anyone sway you.” The feelings in my bones [deep inside] are that “Attacks just happen because of who I am. They won’t change what I do, so just move on. I’m an outsider anyway.”
In terms of attacks on RC, I’ve realized the following: I will not be dissuaded from counseling on them. I am not weak. Status is irrelevant and won’t stop me from finding ways to address them. Complaining when no one is being a counselor might feel familiar, but it will not be sufficient to create change—not with attacks, not with racism, and not with the climate emergency.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of raised-poor people
(Present Time 206, January 2022)