A Melbourne Women’s Workshop
The following are excerpts from reports on a Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, women’s workshop, led by L—.
I live in China and was a guest at the Melbourne online women’s workshop. Many thanks to all who welcomed, supported, and warmed me! I felt at home.
I was the only one at the workshop for whom English was a foreign language. Everyone tried to speak slowly for my sake. Owing to everyone’s loving efforts to be inclusive, I was able to understand much of the lecture and fully participate in the workshop. I also shared my thoughts and asked a question in the big circle.
In our introductions, we were asked to say one thing about ourselves that made us human (like all other human beings). I think this set the tone of workshop: we are all human beings, and there are more similarities than differences among us.
L— talked about how sexism affects us from the moment we are born. Then we had a mini-session on the first five minutes after we were born. If we couldn’t recall it, we could make up [invent] a story. I talked about how my mother had been weak and seemed to be dying but had gotten no attention from other family members. I had been worried about her and sad and angry that nobody was helping her. I’d seen disappointment in the eyes of people but hadn’t understood why. Later I’d learned that they were disappointed I was a girl. I discharged deeply and realized that sexism had hurt me from the very beginning of my life. I also realized that my mother had gotten little love or support, which is one of the reasons she hadn’t been able to pay attention to me when I was a little girl.
L— suggested that in the topic groups we make noise. She said that society forces women to keep quiet, hold in our emotions, and not speak up, so it can be a good contradiction [to distress] to make loud noises in our sessions. I made all kinds of noises and yelled at the top of my voice (with a pillow covering my mouth so as not to disturb the neighbours). It was fun! I laughed a lot! Then I talked vigorously about how I feel distressed when I listen to adults speaking in any language, including my mother tongue. Many thanks to my Chinese Australian counsellor, to whom I could talk freely in Chinese and discharge a lot.
I also liked the “complaint” part at the end of the workshop. L— asked each of us to complain to her about the workshop. People made all kinds of funny complaints while L— responded with humour and love. I complained that everyone had spoken English instead of Chinese and even asked L— to speak some Chinese. Ha ha!
Some women have been trained to be nice all the time and avoid complaining at all. I’m glad I was able to complain from time to time before I learned RC and that I have been good at “complaining” in sessions since learning RC. Although people have criticized me for not being “nice,” and I’ve tried my best to be “nice,” I have managed to keep in touch with my true feelings and not be “nice” all the time.
The workshop was an amazing women’s gathering filled with tears, laughter, fun, love, and power. I fell in love all the twenty-two beautiful women present.
Jingdezhen City, Jiangxi Province, China
As I keep discharging on my earliest experiences, my perspective shifts and I have new lenses to look through. I can only do this with my dear female sisters (and all my fellow humans) by my side, not separated from each other by our identities and the oppressions. None of us is any “different,” no matter how we were hurt.
Malvern East, Victoria, Australia
I feel like my mum was completely “rolled” (lost her agency) when I was born. It was common practice to drug birthing women and remove the baby to be washed and swaddled. It hurt me to be separated from my mum. She was the one I wanted, the one I had been surrounded by and connected to in the liquid bubble. However, I can now focus on the intimacy I did have with her and anchor myself there. I need not be distracted by her “deficiencies.”
Australia
After the women’s workshop I found myself in a challenging discourse with my mother and sister. I kept discharging feelings of defeat and confusion about the goodness of women and on memories of my birth. I could then hold a fresh perspective. Instead of just seeing that I had been isolated from my mom, I saw how male domination and sexism had impacted our relationship. It had been no one’s personal fault; it had been caused by an oppressive society. I continued reaching for an amicable discussion with my mom and held firm that we stay connected through uncomfortable conversations. I held out in my tone and words that by being close we could come to agreement. I held to my decision to stay rational and keep thinking (despite my feelings), and my mom and I finally came to a good agreement.
Australia
Reprinted from the newsletter of the Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, RC Community
(Present Time 205, October 2021)