Leading Men’s Liberation for My Own Re-emergence from Sexism
For the last year I have been taking the direction that as a woman I need to lead men’s liberation to support my re-emergence from sexism.
A non-RC group of eight men had been meeting twice a month for six months to talk about ending sexism. I was invited to facilitate their last meeting. It went well, with lots of discharge from these men who didn’t know any Co-Counseling theory. Here is what I said:
The work I do is based on relationships. Sexism relegates the topic of “relationships” to the female sphere. But relationships are every human’s birthright. Relationships are your birthright.
Most of you don’t know me. You haven’t had time to see who I am. But you know each other.
Men’s oppression gets in the way of your having each other. Racism and anti-Semitism and classism and age oppression get in the way of your having each other. But you need each other. You need other males.
Men’s oppression makes you feel bad about yourself. It makes you feel bad about other males. You try to get women to make you feel good—you know you do (if only for a moment)!
In spite of how you feel, you are actually good. All men are good. You just got crushed as little ones, and you haven’t had enough resource to reclaim yourselves yet.
That’s what this group can be—a way to build resource. To do that, you have to build relationships. To do that, you have to show where you struggle. To do that, you have to remember for each other that you are each good in spite of all the struggles and the feelings of badness. You have to hold the reality that you are each entirely lovable and worthy.
Let’s practice now. We’ll each take a turn. Tell the males in this group how much you love them. Tell them how much you need them. Or, if that is impossible, tell them what gets in the way of your loving them.
Just lean up against that place inside you where you have built walls to protect yourself. Find the place where you will not allow another male one step closer. Then lean up against that and reach for these men. Notice that you love and need these men. Notice that you want them to get closer to you than your walls allow. I might have to interrupt in order to guide you.
Eugene, Oregon, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of wide world change
(Present Time 204, July 2021)