Counseling a Woman on Sexual Assault
Can anyone share ways to counsel on sexual assault? Specifically, how do we counsel women who have recently survived a sexual assault?
Also, how can an RC class think about and back [support] such a person, given that her clienting will likely restimulate everyone’s experiences, including their early sexual hurts?
Relatedly, what are ways to work with women on physical power on Zoom?
Thank you!
Hi D—,
I’m sorry to hear that it is necessary for you to counsel a woman on sexual assault. I’m sure that you and your class have already been helpful. I will share some of my experiences.
Like with any other recent traumatic event (a death, an operation with general anesthesia, and so on), offering a lot of compassionate listening for whatever the person can and wants to focus on is important at first, as is listening to the story over and over again.
Focusing on the early hurts—often labeled “early sexual memories” or ESMs—will become an increasingly important part of your client’s recovering from the experience. And as you are aware, her counselors will need to do some intensive work on their own early sexual memories and any experiences they’ve had of sexual assault, sexism, and male domination. This can be an opportunity for you and the whole class to make good progress in these important areas.
In terms of counseling someone on Zoom, I do know that you can, and often will have to, reach hard for a client through the screens—wrap her in your arms; feel the feel of being cheek to cheek; ask her to squeeze your hands, and push hard on whatever is nearby. You get the idea.
Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of women
(Present Time 204, July 2021)