First Females, and Female First
My story as a female starts with my mother, my “first female.” She was a very dear and caring raised-poor Catholic. I loved her very, very much. She was generous and hard working. And there were other females who also nurtured, loved, and backed [supported] me early on and throughout my life.
As a young female Catholic, I learned about the “first” female. Her name was Eve. I learned that she was responsible for the loss of human innocence and of paradise. It was a heavy weight to bear: being responsible for the “fall.” But there was an antidote: Her name was Mary. She was without sin. She was pure. She had a baby but never had sex. Ever. She was immaculate. She was a mother. Her entire identity was mother. I was grateful for that mother. I was grateful as a child for the consolation of claiming her as mother. But there was a dilemma: Eve was a sinner, Mary was immaculate, and then my mother was gone. Where was I to turn?
What a wonderful option I discovered: I could discharge on all things female—my mind, my body, my sexuality, my world, my power. I could follow a fully female leader, Diane [Diane Balser, International Liberation Reference Person for Women], on being female. She insists that we claim our full femaleness and our connections with other females. Her direction “female first” helps me retell the stories of my first female figures.
All the stories of Eve and Mary were written by men. I have grieved and raged over how these women were oppressed and the lies that were told about them. They now look different to me. They have become fully powerful, grace-filled, inspirational figures. They have full voices. They have rejected shame, guilt, and blame—some of the tools of sexism and male domination.
Perhaps most important, I have faced how I was lied to about females. I have faced the lies with indignation. And I have faced them with other women who also refuse to accept the distortions about who we are.
Women are not responsible for the “fall’ of humanity. We are not evil. We are not to blame. We are conceived and born good, innocent, and powerful. Our bodies are good, our sexuality wholesome, and our minds expansive. Everything about our workshop and being together was a constant reminder to claim these realities as females.
“Female first”—from the very first female to the present.
Stamford, Connecticut, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion list for leaders of women
(Present Time 204, July 2021)