How White People Enact Racism, and Guidelines for Allies
The list below describes some of the ways that racism has been experienced by People of the Global Majority (PGM) in RC workshops, classes, and other activities. The combination of these experiences leads many PGM to describe the RC Community as “racist.” It results in many PGM leaving the RC Community despite the benefits of using the theory and tools of Re-evaluation Counseling. This contributes to a “revolving door” of PGM coming into and then out of the RC Community.
The decision to write and share this list is based on several assumptions:
- That no white person would act in a way that expresses, enacts, or perpetuates racism if they had not first been hurt by racism
- That the language and behavior of white people that PGM experience as racism is done unawarely and unconsciously
- That if white people knew that their language or behavior would be experienced as racism, they would avoid that language and behavior
- That if white people had more information about the specific language and behaviors that PGM experience as racist, they could make better, more informed decisions about the language and behavior they choose to display
- That white people don’t want to engage in racist behavior, perpetuate racism, or participate in maintaining systems of racism
The items on this list are based on my own experiences and observations as well as experiences shared by PGM at RC events. It should be noted that most of what is on this list could also be on almost any list describing relationships of domination and subordination. Whenever the items on this list are shared at a workshop, young people, women, and members of other targeted groups invariably say that they have had the same or similar experiences. Given the intersectionality of all our identities, it is possible to claim that any work done on discharging racism can potentially have powerful effects on all our relationships.
The experiences of racism described here constitute a lengthy “don’t” list. A set of guidelines, a “do” list, is also included at the end for allies. Allies are people who speak up and act against oppression on their own behalf. They object to oppressive language and behavior because such language and behavior is contrary to their vision of the world they want to enact. Allies act on their own behalf, not on behalf of others. Allies oppose racism on their own behalf, not on behalf of Black people and other People of the Global Majority.
The experiences of racism described below have been broadly categorized for ease of reading and understanding.
ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT INTELLIGENCE
1. Discounting the thinking of PGM
2. Assuming that Black people are not as smart as white people; assuming that Black people are not smart enough
3. Associating intelligence with how a person looks
4. Associating intelligence with the degree of a PGM’s assimilation into whiteness
5. Associating intelligence with language, with one’s use of “civic” English; assuming that the more a PGM’s English usage matches that of white people, the smarter that PGM has to be
6. White person behaving as though they know best
7. White person assuming that their ideas are better
8. White person assuming that they know more about my country, religion, and so on, than I do. White person assuming that they can tell me about my country, religion, culture, and so on
ATTRIBUTION
9. White person repeating what a PGM says as if it is the white person’s original idea
10. White person repeating an idea or comment that a white person has taken from a PGM and attributing the idea to the white person rather than to the PGM from whom the white person took the idea; white person behaving as though they didn’t hear the PGM share the original idea; white person being unable to hear an idea shared by a PGM and only able to hear it or accept it as credible after it has been repeated by a white person; white person then being given credit for coming up with [thinking of] the idea in the first place
11. White persons taking credit for ideas, proposals, projects, and so on, that are originated by PGM
12. PGM leader sharing ideas in a workshop, and white person later writing the ideas in an article with no indication of the source of the ideas
AUTHORITY AND LEADERSHIP
13. White people assuming that they should be in charge; white people assuming that they are in charge; white people taking over the work or leadership of a PGM and putting themselves in charge; white people assuming that if they were in charge, things would go better
14. White people assuming that they can and should tell PGM what to do (telling the PGM leader how to lead the workshop, how to set up groups, what questions to ask, and so on); as soon as the group gets together, a white person assuming leadership of the group and telling people what to do
15. Whatever the topic, a white person assuming that what they know is correct, more important, and more central, essential, significant
VOICE, POWER, AND POSITIONALITY
16. All (or most) of the key leaders being white (token PGM); to be a leader, PGM must assimilate into whiteness
17. White person speaking over a PGM
18. White people being trained to speak first, speak often, speak loudly, and speak last
19. Being unaware and unable and unwilling to make space for voices of PGM
20. White people assuming that what they are doing is more important than whatever the PGM is doing or saying
21. Taking up all the space—at the front of the room, on the mats, in front of the leader, in the circle around the leader, in the discussion, in the questions and answers, and so on
CENTRALITY AND MARGINALITY
22. White people assuming that they are at the center of things; white people behaving as though they assume that they are at the center of things
23. Assuming that PGM will automatically take a position at the back or on the sidelines, in the margins
24. Bringing in the voices and thinking of PGM as an afterthought; completing the plan, program, or position, then asking PGM what they think or whether they want to change anything or add anything to it
25. No seats at the table for PGM
THE "RIGHTNESS" OF WHITENESS
26. White people assuming that the way they do things is automatically the right way (the right way to eat, dress, speak, have a language, paint houses, decorate rooms, organize, write, counsel, client, and so on); white person attempting to teach a Black person “how to talk” because they did not talk like white people
27. Giving in to pressure to do things the “white way”
28. Failing to recognize signs and symbols of whiteness, the presence of whiteness, white hegemony, signs and symbols of white supremacy
FAILING TO SEE PGM AS PEERS
29. White people seeing themselves as counselors, not as peers; white people slipping into relationships of domination and subordination; white people assuming that they can counsel PGM but that PGM are not able to effectively counsel them
30. White person exhibiting language or behavior that is experienced as racist, then attempting to “counsel” the PGM toward whom they have targeted racism so that the PGM can discharge their “feelings” about the mistreatment instead of the white person acting to correct the mistake; failure to assume responsibility for “cleaning up” the racism
VERIFICATION AND CONFIRMATION
31. A white person asks a question. A PGM gives an answer. The white person asks a white person the same question and proceeds with the answer that the white person provided. When they later find out that the answer provided by the PGM was the correct answer, they proceed as though this behavior is perfectly normal and acceptable.
32. A PGM provides information. It is not considered correct or useful information until verified by a white person.
INVISIBILITY AND MISIDENTIFICATION
33. Misidentifying one PGM for another PGM
34. Calling one Black person the name of another Black person, even though they have strikingly different features (height, skin tone, hair style and texture, and so on)
35. “They all look alike.” (Boston white woman said that a Black man molested her and killed her two children. Police rounded up a large group of Black men—tall and short, large and small, brawny, skinny, burly, and light brown to very black. When asked why they’d rounded up the men that they’d arrested and brought in for questioning, the Boston police said, “They fit the description.”)
36. Interchangeability—one PGM will do as well as the next PGM; failure to individualize and recognize the uniqueness of individual PGM
37. Acting as though the PGM is not standing there, sitting there, in the group, and so on—“Oh, I didn’t see you”; PGM is talking to someone and white person walks up and starts talking to that person as though the PGM is not there: “I just have to say something/ask something really quick,” “What I have to say is really important; I will just be a minute.”
38. Not getting the names of PGM correct; mispronouncing the name of a PGM and acting as though it doesn’t matter; calling a PGM by a shortened version of their name rather than learning to pronounce the name correctly; asking a PGM whether they can just give them a nickname, since their name is so hard to pronounce, instead of asking for coaching on how to say the name correctly
WHITE COMPETITION FOR FAVORED STATUS
39. White people competing with each other and criticizing other white people as a way to elevate themselves
40. Competing to be the best “white ally”
ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT COMPETENCE
41. Diversity, inclusion, and ending racism assumed to be the work of PGM; a focus on racism assumed to be the reason for the presence of PGM; racism work assumed to be the only thing in which PGM can be expert
42. Saying how hard it is to find qualified PGM; whenever a leadership position is open, never thinking of PGM as the person to fill that position; there is always some additional qualification that a PGM needs to attain, some particular piece of distress they need to clean up, before they are assumed to be “fit” to take the leadership position; PGM having to meet rigid guidelines for leadership, even when no other leader in the Region meets those guidelines; PGM engaging in behavior in which other leaders are engaged and the PGM being dismissed from leadership while white leaders engaging in the same behavior maintain their leadership
WHITE OWNERSHIP AND CONTROL
43. White person assuming that a particular PGM is “theirs” and should get the white person’s permission to do anything; that no other person should do anything with that PGM unless they check it out with the “owner”
44. White person monopolizing the attention and time of a PGM
45. White person assuming undue and excessive familiarity with a PGM
46. White people assuming that PGM will “take care” of them
47. White people assuming that PGM will “service” them
48. White person eliciting PGM to make them feel okay about their racism
49. White people taking unaware, unagreed-on sessions about their racism
ANTI-BLACK RACISM AND OTHER PGM
50. Presuming the superiority of some groups of PGM over Black people; language and behavior giving credence to the “model minority” mythology
51. Open or silent questioning of Black people about their “bootstraps”: “Why haven’t you pulled yourselves up by your bootstraps—like the people of X group have done?” “My grandparents, ancestors, and so on, came here with nothing, and look what they/we have accomplished.”
52. Competition for “top” minority status
53. Invisible relationship of immigrant Latino/a people to relationships of domination and subordination based on racial identity groupings; lack of awareness of the impact of racism on members of their group; assumptions of exclusion from racist consequences (in their countries of origin, they are not “minority” or “people of color”)
54. Putting Asian PGM in the position of middle agent between Black people and white people (a strategy used by the British in Africa and the Caribbean during the Colonial Project)
55. Having PGM of another group explain something about Black people—why Black people do what they do, behave the way they behave, speak the way that they speak, or say the things that they say
RACIAL IGNORANCE AND RACIAL BLINDNESS
56. Inability of white people to recognize and identify racism when it is happening in front of them
57. Refusal of white people to look at racism or take responsibility for racism happening around them
58. Inability or refusal of white people to effectively speak up about racism
59. White people witnessing racism but failing to act to interrupt it; getting captured by the “freeze or flight” syndrome; wanting to escape and distance themselves from the white person who has acted in a way experienced as racism
FEAR
60. Holding back from interacting with PGM for fear of making mistakes
61. Failure to interact for fear of doing something racist
62. Lack of connection because of fear—fear of not knowing how to interact or behave, of saying the wrong thing, of inadvertently offending
63. Fear of rejection because other white people have done racist things, because they might not be the right kind of white person, because they might not be “hip, cool, or jazzy” enough
CONNECTIONS AND RELATIONSHIPS
64. “Quizversations” as a way to connect and interact
65. Cornering and corralling PGM
66. Making a mistake and running away
67. When a mistake is pointed out, white person explaining why they did or said it, or what was going through their head, instead of apologizing and cleaning it up
68. White person telling a PGM how much they know about the culture of PGM as a way to make PGM like them; explaining that they were in the Peace Corps or spent a semester abroad in the PGM’s country and then explaining their country, culture, people, or language to them; romanticizing, exoticizing, fetishizing, sexualizing PGM
69. Exclaiming that a particular group of PGM are the most beautiful because of their skin, hair, eyes, body size or type, culture, language, or way of life; wanting to be like that group; mimicking that group; preferring things related to that group
70. Reacting or responding to members of a particular groups as objects of desire
71. Referring to what white people do as “normal” and what PGM do as “culture”; white people wearing “clothes,” and PGM wearing “costumes” or “cultural outfits”; buildings with corners being “homes,” and buildings that are round being “huts”; clothes with no patterns being “normal,” and clothes with patterns and prints associated with Africa or Asia being “exotic” or “primitive”
CLAIMING AN INDIGENOUS IDENTITY (these items were shared by an Indigenous person)
72. Failure to develop “in the kitchen” [regular, close, ongoing] relationships with “Native raised-Native” people
73. Settlers claiming Indigenous identity
74. People Indigenous to one continent wanting to claim Indigenous identity on another continent
75. People who were raised white and who recently discovered “Native American” ancestry attempting to claim participation in caucus groups, panels, forums, and so on, that are designed to provide a safe space for Native raised-Native Americans
Guidelines for White Allies on Ending Racism
Because we have all been socialized and conditioned in societies characterized by racism, the patterns of racism have been installed on all of us. They are evident in our language, in our behavior, and in our habits of thought. Though we as an RC Community have committed to ending racism, it takes time and conscious, deliberate discharge and effort to interrupt and change the systematic enactments of racism.
Our commitment to ending racism is a fine basis on which to decide, act, and discharge to create relationships, Communities, and RC events that are increasingly less burdened by racism. The guidelines for white allies listed below are meant to help us enact our intention to end racism.
Guideline Number One: Face Racism
When racism happens, don’t “go under” [get lost in distress], don’t go silent, don’t go quiet, and don’t go away. Do the following:
a. Notice it.
b. Name it.
c. Interrupt it.
d. Describe it. Say what was wrong (racist) with the behavior or the language.
e. Make space for the person to apologize.
f. Interrupt any attempt to explain. Explanations exacerbate the racism. Explanations can become a way of sidestepping taking responsibility for the racism. Explanations can become a way for the white person to not have to face the fact that what they did or said had an effect that was experienced as racism by the PGM.
g. Where it makes sense, support the person to make the commitment to end the offending behavior or language and to help others learn about, discharge, and end the offending behavior or language.
Guideline Number Two: Meet People
Seek out people from different backgrounds and make connections and relationships.
a. Organize your life to meet people from different backgrounds.
b. Abandon the familiar and comfortable.
c. Make a goal to meet people from different backgrounds.
d. Say, “I am trying to interrupt the effects of whiteness and white domination on my life.” “Will you talk to me?” “Will you be friends with me?” “Could we meet occasionally to talk about the world?”
e. Join or develop projects and activities that bring you into contact with people from different backgrounds.
Guideline Number Three: Parity Engagement
a. The relationship is not a helping relationship, charity, “do good” work.
b. Aim for communication, not “quizversation.”
c. Don’t replicate patterns of domination and subordination.
d. Be prepared to stop talking and listen.
Guideline Number Four: Interrupt Patterns of Domination
a. Not know everything.
b. Not have the answers, solutions.
c. Not be the one in charge.
d. Not be the one to give directions.
e. Not be the one to go first.
f. Not have to be right.
Guideline Number Five: Form Committed Long-term Relationships
a. Aim for long-term relationships.
b. Be prepared to stay in the face of discomfort.
c. Be prepared for differences in lifestyle, values, beliefs, and so on.
d. Do not run away when things get difficult.
e. Find shared interests.
Guideline Number Six: Do Not Expect PGM to Service You
Do not expect PGM to do the following:
a. Take care of you
b. Reassure you
c. Remind you that you are a good white person
d. Do things for you
Guideline Number Seven: Mind Your Manners
a. Get the names right.
b. Get the pronunciation right.
c. Don’t confuse one PGM with another PGM; if you do, apologize and go home and study their name and face.
d. Don’t tell them about your other PGM friends.
e. Don’t tell them about your PGM nanny.
f. Wait a long time to tell them about your PGM childhood friend whom you got separated from and about whom you still grieve.
g. Don’t talk about their history or culture as though you are the expert or dwell on your experience with someone or something from their culture.
Guideline Number Eight: Be Prepared to Make Mistakes
a. Acknowledge the mistake.
b. Clean it up.
c. Ask the person what would be needed to repair any damage resulting from the mistake.
d. Resist the urge to explain the mistake or downplay the significance of the mistake.
Guideline Number Nine: Interrupt Patterns of Invisibility
a. Notice when PGM are present.
b. Notice when they have something to say. Encourage PGM to have something to say. Make space for PGM to speak.
c. Don’t “walk over” PGM as though they are not there.
d. Don’t speak of PGM as though they are not present.
e. Interrupt patterns of racism exhibited by other white people.
- Notice it.
- Name it.
- Interrupt it.
- Explain to the white person the nature of the racism and why that language or behavior is unacceptable.
- Support that white person to repair the mistake.
Discharge, discharge, discharge. Practice, practice, practice. Remember that if you are not making mistakes, it is likely that you are not engaged in ending racism. If you are not engaged in ending racism, then you are contributing to the perpetuation of racism. To do nothing is to support the status quo. Your starting point has to be your vision of a world that meets your criteria for the creation of communities and relationships characterized by justice, equity, fairness, and inclusion.
Patterns of racism have been installed on all of us but are not a part of who we are. Our goal is to remember and reclaim our full humanness, the chance to have relationships that reflect that full humanness, and Communities that support all our re-emergence.
Love, life, liberation.
(Present Time 201, October 2020)