I attended the North American Female Allies to Large Women Workshop led by Teresa Enrico in September 2019. I attended with a lot of excitement because, as Joni Mitchell [Canadian singer and songwriter] wrote, “I’ve looked at life from both sides now.” I was a chubby child, then a fat child, then an obsessed-with-thinness teen. I’m now an adult who is still obsessed with bodily dimensions (which I think is fairly typical for my age). 


I’ve realized that it is hard for me to be an ally to large women, partly because I was once targeted and then took in so much of the oppressor material [distress]. At the workshop I cried hard on what it was like to go shopping and need clothes for large girls. The workshop brought up issues such as “Where do I belong? Ally? Large? Formerly large?”


I am working on a complicated relationship with a large person—someone who was thin and at times behaved oppressively during my fat years. The workshop gave a boost to the work I have been doing on this relationship. I am much better able to avoid getting trapped in old patterns. I need to continue working on this very thorny issue. I need to be an ally to my young self who experienced fat oppression, and then to those who are currently experiencing it.