An Intersection of Oppressor
and Victim Distresses
In a recent session I thought about something that was super [very] useful for me.
I had biked to my session and been “catcalled” on the way. [A catcall is a loud whistle, or a comment of a sexual nature, made by a man to a woman.] As I was discharging about it, I remembered other times I had been catcalled. And I noticed that the times I could remember were the times when it had been done by a Black man. That made me think that what first seems like simply sexism to me as a white woman may also be racism in disguise.
My counselor and I came up with [thought of] some contradictions to both racism and internalized sexism. We imagined some things I could yell back that would be almost like directions for the person. For example, “Black lives matter!” “I like you, too!” “I’m glad you are thinking about closeness!” The point was to contradict my terror and powerlessness from women’s oppression while also noticing that the terror is partly based on racism and contradicting that also. Trying to say these things in a relaxed way made me laugh.
My counselor could keep in mind that the racism I carry isn’t my fault and could remind me of that, even though she isn’t from the U.S. South. (That is key for me as a Southerner, because the South is at times blamed for all of the racism in the United States.)
Have you noticed examples of the intersection of oppressor and victim distresses? How have you contradicted them?
Durham, North Carolina, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail discussion
list for leaders of young people