Parenting, and Parents’ Oppression
We are a new RC Region in New York City (USA). For the last year we have been building family work. I lead our Region’s parents, who make up about half the people in the Region. Recently Marya Axner, the International Liberation Reference Person for Parents, came to lead a workshop. It was great having her here.
Marya reminded us of our goodness, our preciousness, and the huge difference we make in our children’s lives. She spoke of the job of parenting in this society—a very important job, with 24/7 unpaid work [unpaid work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week], no benefits, no overtime pay, no vacations, no promotions, no training, no supervisor, no technical support, no team. And anyone (family, friends, strangers) can feel free to judge our parenting. Oh, and it’s a forever job! That’s parents’ oppression.
She said that parenting partners need to make time for each other. We need to discharge on getting childcare, or relatives (even though imperfect) to be with our children, so that we can have time together. She also talked about the importance of connecting with other parents and supporting each other.
She reminded us that we, and our children, are not going to look good. That got a big laugh from us. She said that it’s good not to look good. No pretense. We get to discharge on our children’s showing things and not looking good.
She said that our children will have crises—perhaps more than other children, because they show more and are not going to move on until they discharge. When our children are going through struggles and need us to give them a hand [help them], that’s an opportunity to work through our own chronic patterns. Crisis is an opportunity.
Brooklyn, New York, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail
discussion list for leaders of parents