The Power of the Timer

October was my three-year anniversary of being in RC. I want to share the story of the first gift that RC gave me—the power of the timer.

I was on psychiatric drugs for about eleven years (from when I was fourteen). In late 2010 I decided to get off them because I realized there might be nothing wrong with me—that perhaps what was really “wrong” was living disconnected and passive in an oppressive society. I slowly lowered my dosages. At one point the psychiatrist I was seeing told me Ia could stop taking the remaining drug all at once, without tapering down like I had with the others. So I just stopped “cold turkey.”

Within a month I was crying uncontrollably for at least four hours every day. My partner and I had learned some non-RC emotional-processing techniques, so he would sit and give me unconditional, loving attention for as long as he could. However, that was completely unsustainable and became less and less workable. He stopped being able to give me good attention, and I kept trying to take care of him while I was crying. I couldn’t discharge fully because we were both so preoccupied with how long it was taking!

Then we remembered that a friend of ours had mentioned a Co-Counseling practice, and we decided to get more resource for ourselves. We joined a fundamentals class together. The timer was magical! My partner could decide ahead of time how many minutes he wanted to offer me, and then we could both relax and work efficiently. My sessions became much more effective. We turned the worry about the time over to the timer. He could stay fully present with me, and I could discharge fully all the hurts that the psychiatric drugs had suppressed.

Using a timer allowed us to stay connected through the remaining few months of my heavy daily discharge. Thank you to all those Co-Counselors who held out the perspective that there was nothing wrong with my mind, nothing wrong with my crying, and nothing wrong with my partner for not having infinite resource. I am so glad to be part of this hopeful, supportive, visionary Community.

“Bobby Tamara”

1 “Cold turkey” means abruptly and completely.
2 “We turned the worry about the time over to the timer” means we let the timer take charge of the time and stopped worrying about it.


Last modified: 2022-12-25 10:17:04+00