Online Dating and Sexism
At the Women in Their Forties Workshop, led by Jenny Sazama and Diane Balser1 near Boston, Massachusetts, USA, earlier this year, a group of us met to discharge on sexism and online dating.2 We were led by Andrea Jacobs.3
Dating sites are about the objectification of women (and men). They treat close human relationships as commodities that we need to go shopping for. Relationships are not commodities, and it is horrible to treat them (and people) as if they were.
As single women in our forties, we have noticed pressure to join online dating sites. Andrea reminded us again and again that the oppression and the industry are the problem, not us. It is possible to use online dating sites intelligently, but we should keep in mind how sexist the industry is.
I had my turn on the ageism I see online. I am forty-one, and men in their fifties are interested in me. A thirty-three-year-old single friend goes on dates with forty-two- and forty-three-year-old men.
I loved applying our Co-Counseling and women’s liberation thinking to this large industry. The women in the group are going to stay in touch and have more sessions on this topic.
Kristin Larson
Boulder, Colorado, USA
Reprinted from the RC e-mail
discussion list for leaders of women
1 Jenny Sazama is the International Liberation Reference Person for Allies to Young People. Diane Balser is the International Liberation Reference Person for Women.
2 “Online dating” is connecting with people on a dating website. Users usually create a profile with photos of and information about themselves and then look through the profiles of other users and send messages to those they are interested in dating.
3 Andrea Jacobs is a Co-Counselor in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts, USA.