No One is Lazy
I am a person with chronic health issues. As a result of extremely weak digestion, I've experienced malnutrition and other problems for most of my life. Although I was probably born this way, it took about twenty-five years and a severe health breakdown to make me realize I'm not well. Even when my hair was falling out and my muscles were atrophying, I thought I was just lazy. I felt like a bad person for not being able to keep up with others, and I got very isolated. Now I know that I have never been lazy. In fact, I don't believe there is such a human quality as laziness! Of course, in this economic system that 'wants' to work us to death and throw us away, I hear the epithet lazy used a lot!
The concept of 'laziness' is a hurtful confusion which I (and probably all of us) have internalized. It has slowed down my thinking, stopped me from acknowledging my needs, and made it hard for me to point out rigidities in society and in the RC Community.
I've started to get unconfused during the last few years. I learned about resting with a counselor 'standing guard' and used this a lot. An article in Complete Elegance on the oppression of people with chronic illnesses motivated me to find a support group for people with disabilities and chronic illness. After ten years of searching, I've found a 'doctor' who actually helps me. He uses herbs, acupuncture, massage, attention, and love. I can cry just thinking about how much he and his assistant mean to me.
I am proud of what I've learned. I've learned how to tune in to my body, take charge of my daily habits, and enjoy solitude. My friends notice and appreciate my slack around body-related issues.
I've figured out that 'keeping your attention out' does not mean 'pretending to feel energetic and perky.' I've decided to rest not only when I'm clienting, but also when I'm counseling, if it makes sense. It's not being lazy and it's not clienting to counsel someone while I'm lying down. It's getting comfortable so I can give better attention. My Co-Counselors don't mind.
So hey, folks, let's yawn, rest, and sleep when we need to. I guess we'll need to change the world to make it possible all the time. And let's not let that cruel word 'lazy' slip into our talk or our minds. It not only denigrates us, but it disguises real issues and needs that will take thinking and change to resolve. And for those of us who are chronically ill, it makes no sense to work on 'getting better' without challenging the isolation and messages of worthlessness that come at us. We've got to love ourselves and each other now! Only then can we take complete charge of our health and our lives.
Jessi Hance
Santa Cruz, California,
USA