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More on Scorning Fear

Very advanced counseling comes very close to simple beginning counseling. How will you scorn fear? You will pay enough attention to see what the fear is, you will think of all possible ways to contradict it, and then you will contradict it. There’s nothing more scornful of fear than a contradiction.

(To someone there) “You have a fear?” “Of being completely alone?” (in a serious tone of voice) “That will undoubtedly happen someday. Congratulations! Solitude is wonderful. Enjoy it well.” Now, if I say, in an anxious tone of voice, “Oh, you will never be completely alone,” the words might seem to be a contradiction, but I’m just reinforcing his fear.

If someone tells me, “I’m afraid of dying,” and I say cheerfully, “Oh, you probably will,” they may say, “Hmph!”* but they’re probably already laughing.

Contradict the distress. If you’re trying to help someone discharge on early sexual memories, and the incest victim, covered with shame and guilt, is saying, “My father wouldn’t do anything like that,” you, as counselor, can approvingly say, “Oh, you were probably so attractive he couldn’t resist!”

Harvey Jackins
From pages 135 to136 of “What Is Our Present Position? 
What Do We Know? What Are We Doing and About to Do?" 
in The Reclaiming of Power 


* “Hmph”is an expression of indignation.

 


Last modified: 2019-05-02 14:41:35+00