Tackling the RC Gay Policy in Our Counseling *

For RC's most recent perspective on issues related to this article, see: Human Connections, and Sex

In my role of Reference Person for Gay Men, Lesbians and bisexuals (GLBs) in Australia, I want to make sure that we take up this challenge with integrity and courage. I also want to make sure that in facing this challenge, no one is required to give up her or his current best thinking or required to give up her or his way of life or his/her leadership. There is no requirement to agree with the policy, but rather to agree to discharge on the possibility of the policy being correct.

All Lesbians, Gay men and bisexuals have always done their best at all times in their lives. We are good, good people who deserve nothing but complete respect and approval. We deserve to be delighted in, loved, and cherished. Should our Gayness be patterned or not, we do not deserve the oppression that we are faced with in society. Nor do we deserve any blame, disgust, or reproach from anyone inside RC. This tone would be completely inside the oppression and is not to be tolerated! The possibility of homosexuality being based in distress is no justification for the oppression at all. The oppression exists for bigger reasons than sexuality. It exists for economic exploitation and to reinforce sexism and men's oppression. Many good people's lives are limited, hurt, and sometimes ended as a result of this oppression. To tolerate this oppression on the grounds of the possibility of the sexuality being based in distress recordings is incorrect.

There are several guidelines I would like to suggest to both GLBs and to allies in order to make this work go well.

  1. This challenge is not to be an excuse to generate a series of attacks on or criticisms of either Harvey Jackins or RC.
  2. People are asked to make a commitment to work fully on the policy inside sessions, on its possible implications and/or what it restimulates.
  3. The challenge is best taken on as an opportunity to discharge remaining areas of distress on our road towards re-emergence, rather than as a "should" or a "have to."
  4. Session time should not be a time for debating the correctness of the policy. Clarity on whether it is correct or not will only come with discharge.
  5. Heterosexual allies can fall into two possible areas of distress when thinking about GLBs. One is the attitude of disgust and hatred that is present in the oppressive society. The other is a "liberal" attitude of whatever-they-do-is-okay-by-me. Neither of these positions is a helpful position to take as allies! If you as an ally feel any kind of pull in either direction, you need to be discharging at that place before you will be able to give an effective hand as an ally. A tone of complete love and respect and belief in our goodness, along with an ability to thoughtfully stand up against our patterns is what is required.
  6. If early sexual memories work is not happening in your Community, then it will be necessary to start it. It will also be helpful to counsel on our current sexual lives and consider everything we do and all our current sexual feelings and practices as probably involving some patterned way of operating. This is important for both GLBs and heterosexuals.
  7. For GLBs taking up this challenge, it is important to stay well-connected to other GLBs and not give up on the closeness we have with each other. The isolation that is part of our internalised oppression can hit hard when counselling in the direction of considering the possibility of same-gender sex and the Gay identity being based on distress. To take away our current key place of home at this time does little to move our counselling and re-emergence forward in this area. The isolation can jam in more internalised oppression than is discharged through taking the challenge. The love and closeness that we have developed with people of the same gender is a humanly good thing.
  8. It will be useful to counsel regularly on this for a period of time. When meeting in groups to discharge on this, it will be best to choose the person, GLB or ally, to lead who is best able to hold out the attitude of love and respect and belief in the goodness of GLBs and to take a stand against patterns.
  9. There is a very real oppression that exists for GLBs. Many GLB leaders inside of RC give the appearance of functioning so well that it seems we therefore mustn't be affected by the oppression. There are two keys points here. One is to understand how much we as a constituency do not pay attention to the oppression, and how important it is, therefore, to put attention on it and discharge in session. The other is that the oppression is mean, vicious, and horrible in its subtlety if not always in its overtness. It needs to be stopped as much as any other oppression we take on as a liberation issue in RC.
  10. Finally, the key thing to remember about Lesbians, Gay men, and bisexuals is that we are deeply good people. We carry heavy hurts that have left us without much of a sense of our goodness. This current policy challenge can easily restimulate these heavy not-being-good patterns. From this position of restimulation, it isn't very easy to do the work required. When raising this challenge, we need to make sure that we do so in a way that minimises this major restimulation. Some degree of restimulation is virtually inevitable, but it will work better if there is thoughtfulness involved here.

A separate issue was also raised at the World Leaders' Conference, which was ensuring that positions of leadership do not continue to be dominated by specific constituencies. Clearly in Australia (and other Regions) many key leadership roles have been taken up by Lesbians and Gay men, and bisexuals to a lesser degree. These people carry out their roles in a very fine manner, and no criticism or judgment is directed at them whatsoever. The leadership they provide to their separate Areas and constituencies is amongst Australia's finest.

There are four points that I see here, however. First is to ensure that these GLB leaders continue to be given a good hand with the places their GLB internalised oppression holds them back from leading even more widely and significantly. Second is to ensure that the people in the Areas and constituencies they are leading be drawn from a wide cross-section of the population and not just from within the GLB constituency. Third is to ensure that any leadership they develop not be focused initially or majorly within the GLB constituency. Fourth is to make sure that RC is modelled by GLBs from outside the internalised oppression, i.e., that the GLB patterns do not become confused with RC. (All these points would apply to all other constituencies which are dominant in leadership.)

It is true that there is an imbalance in the leadership in Australia, but it is an imbalance that can be corrected with thoughtfulness. No one is bad or to blame for this situation. No one should be removed from leadership. These leaders will, however, be expected to model taking up the challenge to discharge on the possibility that the policy is correct. They are not required to agree with it-just to agree to seek discharge about it.

In writing these notes I am wanting to leave several main impressions. One is that the vicious oppression of Lesbians, Gay men and bisexuals is entirely incorrect and has no justification whatsoever. The possibility of same-gender sex and the Gay identity being based in distress is no justification at all for the oppression. The oppression should be stopped. Two is the indubitable goodness of all Lesbians, Gay men, and bisexuals at all times. Three is that GLBs and allies alike have been offered an interesting challenge which will work better if it is taken up with a relaxed attitude of interest, integrity, and courage. I wish you all well on this adventure and am happy to be phoned, written to, or e-mailed on this at any time.

My love to all of you.

"Prudence Fierce"

Reprinted from Present Time No. 102, January 1996

(*) (see Report To The World-Wide Leaders' Meeting in Present Time No. 101)

Last modified: 2019-05-02 14:41:35+00